Mr. Parking Lot Owner / Attendant / Traffic Director

Toll Booth AnnieImage via Flickr

Despite not drinking a Bud Light this time (Sam Adams instead) I will still continue with my posts about people who deserve the tailgate spotlight, yet unfortunately never get it.

Without this person there would literally be no tailgating.  We tailgaters REALLY need what this person is offering.  We tailgaters REALLY need this person’s approval.  I am of course talking about Mr. Parking Lot Owner / Attendant / Traffic Director.

You  know that guy or gal who charges you $12 to park for a baseball game, $10 to park for a basketball game, $15 to park for a hockey game, and $30+ to park for a football game.  And yes it’s the same lot every time.

You know the guy or gal who has little or no math skills but is still in charge of giving you change.  They are oblivious to the line of traffic carrying all the way out to the highway exit as they figure out how to change a $20 bill.

You know the guy or gal that shouldn’t be holding the traffic directing orange thingies.  They tell you to go one way, then another way, then up, then back, then too close to the cars in front / back of you to ever beat traffic out of the stadium.

But kudos to them as they managed to cram 1,500 cars into a lot built to hold about 1,000 cars.  Each game I wonder how that one car got up that hill to park diagonally or how the hell that car is getting down from that spot once 65,000 plus fans exit the stadium.

You know the guy or gal who tells you one parking spot per car, yet the car next to you has a tailgate consuming 3 parking spots.  And what are they using their parking ransom for?  It surely isn’t for a parking lot dumpsters.  And it isn’t for an extra porta potty or two.  Instead, I guess your $20+ gets you car-side garbage pick-up (just don’t run over any glass bottles as you exit the lot) and a public toilet anywhere there is a wall.

But as much confusion as Mr. Parking Lot Owner / Attendant / Traffic Director causes us tailgaters, it’s most definitely worth it.  Because without his / her parking lots, there are no tailgates.  No grilling, no drinking, no beer ponging, no eye candy, no escaping work and the spouse and no parking lot t-shirts.

So next time it takes you 20+ minutes to back out of your parking spot, take a deep breath and realize the all mighty powers of Mr. Parking Lot Owner / Attendant / Traffic Director.  Sadly we tailgaters  need him / her more than they need us.

At the next tailgate raise and drink a cold one for Mr. Parking Lot Owner / Attendant / Traffic Director.  No doubt that this toast will occur outside the stadium because to park in his/ her lot, you used the last of your beer money!