Ho, Ho, Ho-ing at the Tailgate

To show Christmas spirit around the house we do such jolly things as put lights outside the house, write Christmas cards to people we haven’t see in forever, buy way too many gifts, and sport the “Bill Cosby” type Christmas sweater or candy-cane tie to work the day before the holiday.

Why limit the Christmas spirit to just the house?  That’s right, you shouldn’t and you aren’t.  The holiday spirit has also overtaken our December tailgates…

  1. Tailgaters aren’t stopping at seconds around the grill and cooler.  Tailgaters are going back for thirds and fourths, filling their belly with endless amounts of food and beer.  Chicks dig the jolly fat guy this time of year.
  2. Tailgaters are stepping up their drinking game, going from beers to the hard alcohol.  The hard alcohol (combined with the freezing temperatures) gives your checks and nose that stylish Rudolph look.
  3. Tailgaters are testing the limits of their tailgating equipment, secretly hoping that maybe that old grill or cooler will hit it’s “ninth” live.  Come Christmas morning it appears that you have been a good girl or boy this year as Santa has filled your garage with some new tailgating gear.
  4. Fans of the opposing team show up at your parking lot acting like complete and total idiots.  Those total idiots are able to make it out of the parking lot without injury.  Sometime the best gifts (a few punches, poured beers, creative taunts) are those that aren’t given this holiday season.
  5. Tickets and jerseys are cheaper than diamonds.  Bring the significant other to a game this season.  Christmas shopping is done!
  6. Mistletoe is replacing team flags on the tailgating vehicles.  Throw in some beers and even the the “mom’s basement” fans have a chance to score some sugar this month.
  7. Sometimes the best gifts are the free gifts.  Eye candy is that gift.  As guys pile on the layers too stay warm, the ladies reach for the form fitting spandex.
  8. Business is booming for the parking lot t-shirt guy!  Screw “Black Friday” and “Cyber Monday.”  The t-shirt guy beats any deal.  Long sleeve, short sleeve, vulgar slogan, funny / creative slogan…all are yours for as little as 2 for $10.  Christmas shopping done (or at least the stocking stuffers).  Every wardrobe needs a guy peeing on the opposition’s emblem!
  9. The big smiles and low stress levels may seem to be the result of the holidays.  Not quite.  You have finally come to the realization that your fantasy football team sucks, you aren’t making the playoffs, instead you can fully enjoy the pre-game tailgate.  No last minute roster decisions.  Just more eating and drinking.
  10. You are a tailgater.  You are a reader of tailgatingideas.com.  You are already blessed with life’s greatest and best gifts!