The Definitive List of Unattractive Female Sports Reporters

erinandrews.jpgThere is no bigger turn on to guys than a hot girl that knows the difference between a nickel defense and a box and one. TV networks have figured this out which explains the increasing number of eye-candy hotties like Erin Andrews, Rachel Nichols, Bonnie Bernstein, Jill Arrington, Ashley Russell, Heidi Watney, etc. roaming the sidelines.

Inspired by this post on and this post from Co-Ed Magazine compiling a definitive list of sideline hotties, we at thought jumping on to the hottie bandwagon was too easy. That’s why we have put together a list of gals that are akin to an overcooked brat that has hit the ground well past the five second rule. We give you, The Definitive List of Unattractive Female Sports Reporters.



Holly Rowe – It’s no wonder she is assigned events like the College World Series and MAC football. A microphone in her hand is the only thing that distinguishes her from all the other fluffy, corn fed, Midwestern girls. Bonus clip: Dear ESPN, A wide, full body establishing shot on holly is not a good idea.



Pam Ward – A great play-by-play announcer for college football that used to be paired with former Ohio State and Detroit Lions inside linebacker Chris Spielman. Close your eyes and try to tell which one has the deeper voice.



Pam Oliver – Many might scratch their head as to why she made the cut but her five head is reason alone to squeak in on the list.



Jeanne Zelasko – For some reason you want to think she is hot but there is something missing. Kind of like a mismatched hottie Mrs. Potatohead but some of the pieces got lost.



Michelle Tafoya – She made previous lists of being classified as hot. The husky voice and the man hands are a deal breaker, sorry.



Doris Burke – For her sake, it’s a good thing no one watches the WNBA.



Andrea Kramer – Always looks like someone just pulled her tail. Also, her Tweety Bird eyes make me shutter to think what the baby would look like if she and John Clayton ever had a love child.



Linda Cohn – She wouldn’t be that bad if she didn’t have to open her mouth for a living. Even John Elway and Big Brown wouldn’t want her teeth and gums. Minus points for being nicknamed “Butthead” by the Jim Rome clones.


Dana Jacobsen -You have to respect her propensity to get boozed up at a company function and throwing God, Jesus and Notre Dame all under the bus in a moellered up tirade. Aren’t morning show hostesses supposed to be hot? Bonus clip: Dana apologizes for dissing the Big Man upstairs.



Lesley Visser – She is the elder stateswoman of the bunch and Father Time really owes her an apology. Producers also owe us an apology every time they trot her in front of a camera wearing one of her stupid hats.


Shelly Smith – The Candy Crowley of sports. She makes me throw up in my mouth after I have already thrown up in my mouth. Bonus clip: Shelly, by the way, you are live on this take.

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