Thursday marks the official return of football tailgating. Even though it is only the preseason, don’t tell that to the Bucs, Titans, Browns, Falcons, 49ers and Chargers fans who will all be tailgating prior to their teams hosting games August 8th.
With a new season comes new rules regarding what you can bring into the stadium and more importantly, how you can bring in your personal belongings into an NFL stadium. The NFL has adopted a new NFL bag policy for 2013 that limits the size and most notably, the transparency of bags allowed into NFL stadiums. In reaction to this NFL policy and also in consideration of the numerous rules that college football stadiums impose, we have compiled a comprehensive list of the best ways to smuggle alcohol into stadiums, festivals, concerts or just anywhere where alcohol is not served or where alcohol consumption is frowned upon.
Freedom Flask – The Freedom Flask is a plastic bladder that can hold 750 ml of liquor (that’s a fifth of liquor for those metrically impaired) and is designed to be smuggled into an event in the front of your pants. The design is rather smart in that the dispensing nozzle is strategically placed in the bottom of the flask so that 100% of the contents can drain out without having to squeeze the unit or lean to one side or the other. Gravity will do the work for you. The nozzle is also strategically placed so that it lines up directly with your zipper for quick and easy access. When you are inside the venue, simply purchase a more affordable beverage like a soft drink, unzip and pour some shots into your drink. At the end of the game and the contents are completely dispensed, excuse yourself to the restroom, remove the Freedom Flask, roll it up and place it in your back pocket for the next use. The position where the Freedom Flask is carried is also great in that during a physical pat down by security when entering a sporting event or concert, the guys in yellow windbreakers will never touch your junk. The TSA at the airport might, but the rent-a-cops won’t.
Pros: Holds a lot of booze; undetectable in a pat down; can dispense 100% of whatever you filled it with, both men and women can use it.
Cons: When used in public, looks like you are peeing in a cup; makes you look like you have a FUPA; not good for the liquid that needs to be cold like beer because it is carried up against your body and your body heat will warm it.
Tampon Flasks – As you may have guessed, these are plastic test tubes called booze tubes that come complete with an adhesive wrapper to disguise the tubes to look like tampons. As we all know, tampons are “the untouchable” item in a woman’s bag or purse. At the very sight of even one tampon or what appears to be a tampon, security will waive you right on through to get your ticket scanned. Tampon Flasks come in a package of five tubes with five wrappers. Each tube holds about 1 1/2 oz. of liquor which equates to basically about a shot per tube. With the new NFL bag policy requiring all fans entering the stadiums to bring items inside in a clear plastic bag, placing a few of these Tampon Flasks in the bags and showing it to the security guard will ensure the lady booze Sherpa will fly under the radar.
Pros: No security guard would dare suspect what looks to be a tampon would be a flask
Cons: Only women can pull off this method of smuggling; Only hold about a shot of liquor per tube; a little embarrassing to be holding what looks to be five tampons in your transparent bag for everyone in line to see.
Camera Flask – Gives the appearance of a digital camera but actually has a hollow chamber inside that can hold five oz. of alcohol. It comes with a small funnel for ease of filling at home or in the parking lot before going inside. Also includes a wrist strap to complete the image of authenticity.
Pros: Looks exactly like a digital camera
Cons: At a five oz. capacity doesn’t hold a lot of booze; a little bit big compared to modern digital cameras
Purchase: HERE
Sunscreen Flasks – Sunscreen is allowed into all kinds of events whether they are concerts, sporting events, street fairs, festivals, stadiums, the beach, your kid’s soccer game, etc. Take a close look at the Sunscreen Flask tube and it is identical to what any brand of sunscreen would look like. Even the fine print and the directions of use on the back look identical to what appears on any major brand of sunscreen. The Sunscreen Flask holds eight (8) oz of liquor and has a screw cap that twists off easily for dispensing shots discreetly or when you want to fill it up.
Pros: Even with close examination, it looks just like a tube of SPF 30 sunscreen; holds 8 oz of liquid
Cons: Can only be used in places where the sun is out to be believable; bringing it to events held indoors or when the sun has gone down will trigger security to be suspicious
Booze Belly – The precursor to the Freedom Flask and manufactured by a different company, the Booze Belly is designed to go around your stomach, under your shirt. You can see the hose and nozzle can be extended away from the flask for ease of putting a shot into a beverage purchased inside the venue. The Booze Belly is perfect for places where you will not get a physical pat down upon entry. Places like the movies or street fairs where you may get a bag check but not physically touched by security is perfect for the Booze Belly. Just make sure to wear a baggy shirt or even a sweatshirt so that the outline of the Booze Belly is not easily visible. Holds about 24 oz of liquid so you can easily sneak in enough booze for yourself and have enough left to share with friends you meet inside.
Pros: Holds quite a bit of liquor; concealable and hard to detect; affordable price and pays for itself the first time you use it
Cons: Not good for the liquid that needs to be cold like beer because it is carried up against your body and your body heat will warm it up; Not recommended for venues that include a physical pat down by security.
Purchase: No Longer in production.
Can Cover – If you plan on drinking in public, can covers are a great way to conceal your canned beverages from the judgmental eyes of neighbors or law enforcement. The concept is simple in that you take a highly recognizable brand of soft drink, cut off the top and bottom of the can, cut a seam up the side, sand the edges so you do not get cut and you now have a stealth beer can wrap. We would suggest using a brand of soda that has a base color that is a close match to your beer of choice underneath. Drink Bud Light or Miller Lite? Use a Pepsi can so that the dark blue outer color blends with the beer underneath at the top and the bottom of the can cover.
Pros: From a reasonably close distance, appears to be an average soda can; nobody thinks twice when seeing someone walking with a soda in their hand
Cons: Cans are not allowed everywhere, especially inside stadiums or other venues; at close inspection, you can see small traces of the beer can underneath
Purchase: Make your own by following the steps in this online video:
SlickShotz! – They look like little IV bags you may find in a hospital for little people but they actually hold about three oz. of liquor. The SlickShotz! bags come with a heat sealer that is almost identical to the one that vacuum packs food you have seen on infomercials. The bags can be reused at least twice and possibly more depending on how carefully you tear them open. Just fill up the bags at home with about three ounces of your favorite liquor, seal them and place them in an inconspicuous place. Put them in your underwear, your socks, back pocket, coat pocket, etc. The smallest kit comes with 25 pouches, heat sealer, and batteries. You can purchase more bags once you