Be A Bit Heavy, Drink Beer

Huge beer bellyEnough is enough already.  First there was the 55 calorie Anheuser-Busch Select 55.  Now I read about the idea of introducing a no-calorie beer?  Let’s see…um…no chance in hell!

Yes I realize the value in nutritional labels.  Yes I know the importance of a healthy diet and a good BMI.  But if you are drinking a beer you should not be caring about caloric intake.  Your number one and only concern at that moment in time is taste.  How does the beer taste?  How will the beer pair with what I am eating?  How soon until the buzz kicks in?  And if you are drinking a beer you probably aren’t chowing down on a plate of veggies.  You are more than likely (hell, I guarantee it) stuffing your face with wings, ribs, chips, burgers, and then it’s seconds and thirds of each of these items!

For those women (or even some guys) don’t give us the excuse that a low calorie beer will be perfect for a long night out at the club with the friends.  The beer that you are drinking is nothing more than flavored water that will force you to double your consumption to get any sort of buzz going.  And what is the point of skimping on beer calories if at the end of the evening you are going to go out for a “4th-meal” of pizza or wings anyway!

My last “beef” with these light beers (or god help us all, no calorie beers) is the stupid commercials that show people finishing up a hard work-out and then immediately quenching their thirst with a beer.  No one does this.  When is the last time you went over the juice bar at the local gym and asked for a beer?  When is the last time a runner crossed the finished line and was handed a glass of beer?  Never, it just doesn’t happen.  People work out so they can then can splurge on a good tasting beer and the crap food that accompanies it.

So to all my fellow tailgaters it is a 100% violation to drink any of these light beers in the parking lot.  If you see someone drinking them, do your good deed of the day and hand them a beer with taste.  And to the ladies, since football season is almost upon us there is no point in calorie counting in the parking lot.  With all the clothing layers that you are wearing to keep warm no one can see the body anyway.  And if your man or women is drinking a real beer at a tailgate (and trust me he or she isn’t just drinking one) the beer goggles are on so they will love you just the way you are plus an extra couple hundred calories.