Tailgating is one of the greatest pleasures of truck ownership, right up there with running over stuff. If you can have a good enough time tailgating, you can almost accept the fact that owning a truck means all your friends ask you to help them move.
With the playoffs rapidly approaching, it’s time for every tailgating truck owner to raise his game. Here are 7 tailgating tips for all you pickup truck owners:
#1 Sunglasses are ESSENTIAL for any tailgating function. They protect your eyes from the sun, flying objects and they help mask the fact that your drunk ass is staring at your buddy’s wife again. Get caught starring and it’s a 10 yard penalty (and that hurts the team).
#2 Just because you do it everyday at work, it is NOT OK to pee on the front tire of your truck… unless it’s the driver’s side front tire and the driver’s door is open. Then go for it.
#3 At one point or another, truck owners who tailgate WILL hit their knee or shin on their tow hitch. When it happens, the best move is to swear loudly and profusely. It will get big laughs and maybe even some sympathy from a fellow tailgater.
#4 Remember – the bigger your truck is, the more team flags you need to attach to it. Here’s a good rule of thumb: You should have one team flag for every door, plus two team flags for every inch of suspension lift. If you’re doing the math at home, a crew-cab pickup with a 6″ lift needs about 200 flags.
#5 Your buddies might think it’s cool, but tire smoke does NOT make bratwursts taste better. Therefore, ear-splitting, smokey burn-outs are not acceptable in the tailgating parking lot of your favorite sporting event. That is unless you’re cheering for the opposition in which case light em’ up on your way out of there.
#6 Don’t leave your empties in the back of your truck bed unless they are enclosed in a trash bag and/or toolbox. Why not, you ask? If you get pulled over on the way home, no officer of the law is going to believe your story about “cleaning up some trash” when they observe all the shiny new beer cans in your truck bed.
#7 Bungee cords aren’t just great for tying down cargo – they’re also great for the old “tug of war… oops I let go of the cord and it hit you in the nuts” gag. Great way to initiate casual fans and first-time tailgaters.
Final thought: Tailgating is called “tailgating” because of trucks. As a truck owner, you are a part of a proud tradition. Own it!
This is a guest post from Jason Lancaster, Editor and Administrator of TundraHeadquarters.com and all around pick-up truck enthusiast.
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