Love a Tailgater, Not a Tiger

tiger-woods_rachel-uchitel What’s one more opinion when you’ve already read and heard a million?  Yep, even on a tailgating website we are talking Tiger Woods.  But like me, you too are in luck.

You and me, we ain’t waking up as Tiger Woods tomorrow morning.  Instead we get the luxury of waking up each morning as a Tailgater.

Sure we don’t have  millions in the bank.  Hell, why save the money when you can put it towards a new beer pong table or tailgate grill.

But on the plus side we aren’t facing the same women problems that Tiger is facinf.  Yes, our wives and girlfriends are truly a lucky bunch.  They are loving the best of the best when they are with a tailgater.  Don’t believe me?  Need some convincing?

10 Reasons Why It is Better to Love a Tailgater than a Tiger:

  1. Our beer and wing bellies assure that we are a one woman man.  Honestly, who else is going to love us?
  2. We celebrate our victories with other guys.  Sorry fellows, the parking lot is a bit of a sausage party.
  3. Jerseys and barbequed stained t-shirts isn’t exactly GQ.
  4. All those pre and post game beers means we are passed out on the couch come 2 am.  No late night drives into the mailbox for us.
  5. As with the beer bellies, a 40 year old face painter doesn’t exactly scream “date me”.
  6. If that (insert your team’s colors here) painted 1970’s van is rockin, it’s OK to still come a knockin’.
  7. We have room for only two loves.  Our woman.  Our team.  And come Sunday that number dwindles to one.  No comment on who that No. 1 is.
  8. Go out on a Saturday Night?  Are you serious?!?  It’s time to prep for the Sunday tailgate.  Plus I gotta be in the lot by 6 am on Sunday.
  9. Text “pillow talk” to another woman?  What, and interrupt my checking of betting lines, fantasy updates and trash talking?
  10. An apology on a Friday morning.  Please, us real men are out working hard for our ladies.  Well that and the fact that payment for next year’s season tickets is due!