Jerry King Tailgating Cartoon #21
January 31, 2010 in Cartoons
Monthly Archives: January 2010
The 10 Most Annoying People You Meet At A Super Bowl Party
January 30, 2010 in Humor
If you are a football fan or not, chances are you have been to a Super Bowl party once or twice in your lifetime. Most people are there to watch the game, have some food and socialize. For some people, this is their opportunity to demonstrate just how annoying they can be. So here are the 10 most annoying people you will meet at a Super Bowl party.
The “This Party Sucks Compared to the One Two Years Ago” Guy – This douchebag has seen it all and more than likely hosted the biggest Super Bowl bash in all of history. He’ll constantly drone on and on how much more fun this other Super Bowl party he went to a few years ago had way hotter girls, a buffet table as long as a football field, flat screens in the bathrooms, the marching band from the local college and a midget tending bar. No matter how much fun this Super Bowl party is, he has seen better. He will top any experience bar none. The only way to compete with this guy is to see how far he will go to continue his charade. Make mention of how one year you were at a Super Bowl party where the Lingerie Bowl was played in their backyard while the Village People performed YMCA in the garage. See where he takes it from there.
The Health Nut - Normally a woman who is a kick boxing instructor three times a week, she will bring the highest fiber, lo cal and subsequently most awful tasting dip. She munches on celery sticks and fresh fruits while expounding on the virtues of buying organic and choosing to go vegan. Don’t you dare let her catch you loading up your plate with another helping of chili cheese nachos unless you want to hear how many pounds of undigested animal flesh is currently clinging to your colon like spackle. Her argument is so convincing you’ll develop more of a complex than when your mom “caught you” back in junior high.
The Super Bowl Stats Super Geek – Did you know that until the St. Louis Rams won Super Bowl XXXIV that no team that played their home games in a dome had ever won a Super Bowl? Before Tom Brady won Super Bowl XXXVI, Bob Griese was the only Big Ten QB to start and win a Super Bowl? And you are telling me these things why? To show me you have memorized the Super Bowl almanac? Or to prove to me you are 37, still live in your mother’s basement, watch a lot of Star Trek reruns and have yet to kiss a girl?
The Kicker Hater Girl -This gal is normally unrecognizable until one of the kickers misses a 54 yard field goal attempt. Then the commentary comes out. She thinks being a kicker in the NFL is the easiest job in the world. After all, all they have to do is make kicks, right? I mean, he gets paid millions of dollars and all he has to do is kick the ball. How hard is that if all you have to do all day is kick a ball? Like I am so sure. If all I had to do was one thing for my job I would never do it wrong. Sorry Kicker Hater but it is a lot harder than it looks. Just ask Scott Norwood.
The Obsessed Part-Time Gambler – This guy hardly bets on NFL games but apparently faced with the last game of the season, believes he needs to bet crazy seven item parlays. He will eagerly announce to everyone how much money he can win so long as the coin flip comes up tails, Dallas Clark is the first to score a touchdown and New Orleans needs to intercept three passes by halftime. With each incompletion or fumble out of bounds, he claps loudly and feels compelled to tell everyone that he is still alive in three of his parlays. Sadly, for all his energy and enthusiasm, he didn’t have the balls to lay more than 20 bucks on each card.
The Full of Excuses Homer - This guy shows up wearing the jersey of his favorite team, and it is never either team playing in the Super Bowl. He takes every opportunity to explain why HIS team is not playing today. Had the refs not blown that call in week 7 against the Ravens, that would have totally set his team up for a run to the postseason. Instead it was a momentum killer and the team’s psyche never recovered. Despite his team logging a 3-13 record and locking down the fourth overall draft pick, this guy will defend his team all afternoon. He honestly thinks they could be playing in the Super Bowl had a few breaks gone their way. Riiiiight.
The Band Wagoner – This is the guy that claims to be the biggest fan of one of the Super Bowl participants. Sadly he couldn’t name the starting wide receivers of either team when the playoffs started. He is an easy mark because even though he claims to being a fan “for years”, his jersey is brand new and has never been washed. This guy is easily exposed when a true fan of the same team asks him simple questions about the team in which he can not come up with an answer.
The “Oblivious There is a Game Going On” Girl – Normally the girlfriend of one of your work friends, she was dragged along to this and has no interest in the game whatsoever. She will wander from room to room, walking in front of the TV at the most inappropriate times and will try to strike up conversations at crucial portions of the game. She’ll normally whine and complain that the game is dragging on and on and roll her eyes and let out huge sighs anytime there is a stop in the action. She really doesn’t want to be there and makes it abundantly clear to everyone she is putting up with this day because her boyfriend made her come. Normally the boyfriend puts up with this behavior because she is typically hotter than molten lava.
The Gambling Squares Pusher - This guy is full of more peer pressure than a 10th grader passing a joint to a seventh grader. He is relentless in getting you to commit to not only buying four squares in one pool but a few more squares in the lower stakes pool. Getting off the phone with a collections agent is easier than getting away from this guy. To add to his annoyance he takes it upon himself to inform everyone what they need in order for their square to hit. “You’ll need the Colts to block this punt and return it for a touchdown and go for the two-point conversion for you to win the 3rd quarter”. Thanks dude. Thanks for the info.
The “We Couldn’t Get a Sitter” Parents - Arriving with a full complement of baby toys, diaper bags and portable playpens, these annoying Super Bowl party guests walk around with a little kid dangling from the front of their chest. The overprotective mom will hover over the toddler armed with a bottle of instant hand sanitizer all while complaining how this house really should have child-proof locks on their cabinets. Dad will proclaim that Junior will some day grow up to be a pro football player based on the fact he is in the 90th percentile for weight. Sorry to break the news to you Dad but childhood obesity does not translate into a huge signing bonus. It normally is an early indicator of juvenile diabetes. Please, leave the kids at home because Obsessed Part-Time Gambler guy needs to drop an F-bomb every time one of his parlays busts.
Enjoyed this post? You may also like these:
- The 14 Tailgaters Who Annoy the Crap Out of You
- 10 More Annoying Tailgaters
- The Bucket List For Tailgaters
- Play Beer Pong Anywhere with an Inflatable Beer Pong Table
Tailgating Gear in Review: January 2010 Edition
January 29, 2010 in Tailgating Games, Tailgating Gear
2010 opened with a bang not just because it is the start of a new decade but because a lot of cool tailgating gear was introduced to us all. I spent the last month digging up some cool gear on my own but attending the Sports Licencing & Tailgate Show really opened my eyes. And there are more products from that show soon to be revealed right here on TailgatingIdeas.com next month. There was just too much good stuff to overwhelm you all with gear in January. So without further delay here are some of the coolest gadgets and gear from January.
Ref You Suck T-Shirts – As sports fans we tend to disagree with anyone that supports the opposing team. As tailgaters we typically can disagree on the preferred doneness of a grilled steak. One thing was can all agree on is that we can’t stand it when the ref screws up a call that costs our team the game. That’s why Ref You Suck! T-shirts and the perfect way to express how you really feel in the tailgate parking lot.
Ref You Suck! shirts are a high quality, 6.1 oz., pre-shrunk 100% cotton shirts that come in different options. All four of the major sports have their own Ref You Suck! image. The football ref is wearing the ref’s ball cap, the hockey ref is wearing a helmet and the basketball ref has no head gear. The baseball umpire has the behind home plate protective mask on and that shirt says “Ump you Suck!”. All shirts with the images of officials are printed on a black shirt and the image and lettering is in white. They do offer one in bright orange (so that the ref can spot you in the stands) and just says “Ref You Suck!” across the chest with no image of a referee. Simple, yes, but effectively gets your point across.
Trunk Sports – We all like playing tailgating games like cornhole, washers, ladder golf, etc. The problem is if you like to play them all, bringing them all can take up too much space in your car. While out in Las Vegas at the Sports Licencing & Tailgate Show I discovered Trunk Sports. It is a complete tailgate game system that combines all the tossing tailgating games on one frame with interchangeable target covers. You’ll notice that Playboy Playmate Laura Croft is in the booth demonstrating how Trunk Sports works.
Frigidaire Portable Induction Cooker – While tailgating unless you can place it on a grill, more than likely it is going to stay cold. Tailgating is outdoor cooking at it best and that means that sometimes the comforts of home have to stay there. But that is not 100% true. If you want to boil water or fry an egg or even make a stir fry, you’ll need to get a Portable Induction Cooker by Frigidaire.
Induction cooking is different than the regular cooking styles you are most familiar with in that there is no transfer of heat. The brief science lesson for today is that induction is the process of heating an electrically conducting object (usually a metal) by electromagnetic induction. So a powerful magnet inside the cooker makes the pot or pan heat up which is then transferred to the food. There is no heat transferred and the actual cooking vessel is the part that gets hot. The key here is that whatever cooking vessel you use, whether it is a pot, pan or skillet, it needs to be iron based and able to hold a magnet.
All you’ll need is a power source, either a generator or a powerful inverter and you can cook using the Frigidaire Portable Induction Cooker. The beauty of this product is that the unit is small and easily transportable and for safety reasons, never gets hot. The only drawback is you need electricity and metal pots or pans that can hold a magnet.
The Fan Basket – Although this product is not currently on the market it is truly the one piece of tailgating gear you need in time for next season’s football kick-off. The Fan Basket is a trash can/recycling bin that is shaped like a football on the bottom and has a helmet on top. The cool part is that the facemask shield opens and closes with a motion sensor and the entire unit can be customized complete with logos of your favorite college or pro football team. I had a chance to discover this tailgating product out in Las Vegas while at the Sports Licencing & Tailgate Show. Take a look at the video:
The Snack Palette – Seating and table space at a tailgate party can be scarce. Many tailgaters will choose to stand and walk around with their food while visiting with friends or their tailgating neighbors. This “eat, drink and be mobile” lifestyle inhibits the ability of tailgaters to truly enjoy their food and drink. Having to balance a plate on your lap or putting down your drink to shake a hand is a royal pain in the ass. The Snack Palette allows you to hold a plate of food, a drink, a condiment dipping cup and your fork with one hand while leaving your other hand free.
What you can’t see in the photo is the ergonomic design of the Snack Palette. The plate is designed with two separate thumb holes for right or left handed eaters. The other hole not used by your thumb fits a small condiment dipping cup perfect for ketchup for fries or extra BBQ sauce for those fall off the bone smoked ribs. The ridges of the back of the plate nearest your hand has curves that allow your index finger to rest and support the Snack Palette whether your extend your finger or prefer to tuck it backwards. And the sturdy plastic design will hold quite a bit of food allowing you to load up on “heavy foods” like potato salad or that turkey leg.
The Snack Palette comes in a variety of different colors and you can choose from medium or large sized plates. The medium package runs $14.50 while the set of large Snack Palette’s costs $16.25.
Instant Tailgate – Here is yet another product I discovered while out at the Sports Licensing & Tailgate Show in Las Vegas. It’s called the Instant Tailgate and it is an inflatable tailgating space that includes four captains chairs complete with drink holders. The entire unit unfolds from a size that a large cooler would occupy and inflates in about five minutes. Also, there is no need to have constant running air. Once it is inflated you pop in the stopper plug and it stays inflated until you decide to take it down. I had a chance to speak with the inventor and brainchild of this tailgating invention and he describes how the idea came about.
