You Might Be A Tailgater If…

Grill Envy – Image via Wikipedia By now you have probably heard the famous Jeff Foxworthy comedy routine You Might Be a Redneck. Here’s our version but with a little twist. This is a surefire way to know if you are truly a tailgater.

  • You might be a Tailgater if… you have ever tailgated outside a wedding, funeral, little league game, your best friend’s vasectomy or the nudie bar.
  • You might be a Tailgater if… instead of handing out cigars in the waiting room before your son’s birth, you smoked a shoulder in the hospital parking lot.
  • You might be a Tailgater if… you know the name, birthdays and food preferences of the people you park next to but have said three words in a year to your real next door neighbor.
  • You might be a Tailgater if… you arrive at the stadium an hour before they open the gates just to be first in line to claim your favorite spot.
  • You might be a Tailgater if… you’ve named your grill. (mine’s Leon)
  • You might be a Tailgater if… you haven’t been to church in the past ten football seasons because it takes too much time away from tailgating.
  • You might be a Tailgater if… you suggested selling the house to buy an RV so it could feel like you are tailgating 24-7.
  • You might be a Tailgater if… you can set up and break down a grill, shade tent, four chairs, cooler, cornhole game, folding table and a telescoping flag pole in under 10 minutes and all by yourself.
  • You might be a Tailgater if… you purchased a retired ambulance with the intent of driving it seven weekends a year.
  • You might be a Tailgater if… your kid can’t make a free throw or hit a curve ball but can beat any adult at cornhole or washers.
  • You might be a Tailgater if… you forget your team’s win/loss record but you can remember exactly how long it takes to slow cook a rack a ribs before kick off.
  • You might be a Tailgater if… you’ve tried to convince your wife to bake a cake on the grill.
  • You might be a Tailgater if… you’ve ever been watching a game on TV and wished they showed more shots coming out of commercial of the tailgating scene rather than the cheerleaders.
  • You might be a Tailgater if… you’ve ever had “grill envy” when seeing another man’s equipment.
  • You might be a Tailgater if… (add your own in the comments section below)

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5 Responses to “You Might Be A Tailgater If…”

  1. <path_to_url> Sam

    Oh thank god, I’m a tailgater. I was getting nervous.

  2. <path_to_url> shazam

    you paid more for your parking spot than your tickets

  3. <path_to_url> Sauce

    You might be a tailgater if… You have ever watched a game (that you actually have tickets for) from your tailgate on a TV pluged into the cigarett lighter of your truck just to prolong your half-time tailgate.