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You Might Be A Tailgater If…

Posted by Dave On October - 7 - 2008

Grill Envy – Image via Wikipedia By now you have probably heard the famous Jeff Foxworthy comedy routine You Might Be a Redneck. Here’s our version but with a little twist. This is a surefire way to know if you are truly a tailgater.

  • You might be a Tailgater if… you have ever tailgated outside a wedding, funeral, little league game, your best friend’s vasectomy or the nudie bar.
  • You might be a Tailgater if… instead of handing out cigars in the waiting room before your son’s birth, you smoked a shoulder in the hospital parking lot.
  • You might be a Tailgater if… you know the name, birthdays and food preferences of the people you park next to but have said three words in a year to your real next door neighbor.
  • You might be a Tailgater if… you arrive at the stadium an hour before they open the gates just to be first in line to claim your favorite spot.
  • You might be a Tailgater if… you’ve named your grill. (mine’s Leon)
  • You might be a Tailgater if… you haven’t been to church in the past ten football seasons because it takes too much time away from tailgating.
  • You might be a Tailgater if… you suggested selling the house to buy an RV so it could feel like you are tailgating 24-7.
  • You might be a Tailgater if… you can set up and break down a grill, shade tent, four chairs, cooler, cornhole game, folding table and a telescoping flag pole in under 10 minutes and all by yourself.
  • You might be a Tailgater if… you purchased a retired ambulance with the intent of driving it seven weekends a year.
  • You might be a Tailgater if… your kid can’t make a free throw or hit a curve ball but can beat any adult at cornhole or washers.
  • You might be a Tailgater if… you forget your team’s win/loss record but you can remember exactly how long it takes to slow cook a rack a ribs before kick off.
  • You might be a Tailgater if… you’ve tried to convince your wife to bake a cake on the grill.
  • You might be a Tailgater if… you’ve ever been watching a game on TV and wished they showed more shots coming out of commercial of the tailgating scene rather than the cheerleaders.
  • You might be a Tailgater if… you’ve ever had “grill envy” when seeing another man’s equipment.
  • You might be a Tailgater if… (add your own in the comments section below)

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5 Responses to “You Might Be A Tailgater If…”

  1. [...] do you know if you’re a real tailgater? Check out Tailgating Ideas for a complete [...]

  2. Sam says:

    Oh thank god, I’m a tailgater. I was getting nervous.

  3. shazam says:

    you paid more for your parking spot than your tickets

  4. Sauce says:

    You might be a tailgater if… You have ever watched a game (that you actually have tickets for) from your tailgate on a TV pluged into the cigarett lighter of your truck just to prolong your half-time tailgate.

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TailgatingIdeas.com is a tailgating blog dedicated to bringing you the latest and most intriguing tailgating ideas out there. Whether it is the latest tailgating gear reviews, a great new recipe or a funny list to make you smile, our goal is to inform and entertain the avid and the casual tailgater alike.

Started in August 2007 by tailgating enthusiast Dave Lamm, TailgatingIdeas.com has evolved into an advocate for tailgaters rights and is not afraid to touch on controversial issues confronting those who frequent the tailgating parking lots.

To learn more about TailgatingIdeas.com and our team of writers, reviewers, cartoonists and contributors, please visit the About Us page.

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