I was reading my local newspaper earlier this week (yes, I am one of the few that still actually reads and gets a newspaper) and came across a listing of rules for fan behavior while down at the ballpark. Of course the column generated a lot of responses and even some ideas for better rules.
Below are some of my favorite responses and some new ones from the mind of this writer…enjoy!
- If you catch a foul ball, you are entitled to one complimentary lap dance at the local gentleman’s club.
- Gloves at the stadium are to be worn by kids only. If you are a grown man, be a man and stick your bare hand out there!
- Do not be the fan that starts “the wave.” Fans who sit behind home plate and start or participate in the wave should be immediately ushered from the stadium.
- No personalized Jerseys. You don’t play for the team, they aren’t calling you in from the bullpen. It’s as silly as A-Rod or Ryan Howard wearing your employer’s name badge. Show your support with a jersey of your favorite current player or rock a throw back jersey of your favorite old timer.
- No throwing home run balls hit by the opposition back on the field. If you don’t want it, make a little kid’s day and give it away (or if you prefer see rule #1).
- If you are seated in the upper levels, stop screaming to the ump about balls and strikes. He doesn’t hear you and you are just annoying everyone around you.
- When you scream commentary or opinions, be funny. If the fan is indeed funny, the fan’s row starts a collection and buys the fan a complimentary beer.
- If you are at a baseball game, support the team on the field. No football cheers or wearing football jerseys. If you don’t have baseball gear, hit up the t-shirt guy in the parking lot.
- If you are lucky enough to sit behind home plate, you must give the usher your cell phone prior to sitting down in your seat. Nothing is more annoying than watching a game on TV and having to watch fans talk or text on their cell phone (ok, maybe those same fans waving is more annoying).
- When entering the stadium with a jersey on, the ticket collector should ask you a set of 3 questions regarding the player whose jersey you are wearing. If you get more than one incorrect answer you are banned from the park. If you nail all 3 questions you get a free beer!
- If the home team is losing, the ballpark TVs are to show nothing but the best of the day’s “eye candy.” We fans have to get our money’s worth somehow.
- No leaving the game early. (that includes you Dodger fans!) If you leave early you must present your reason to the fans in your row/section. They will determine approval to leave.
Hopefully these rules gave you a few chuckles. Please share your creativity and add to the list of rules!
EDITOR NOTE: A list of 8 more rules in response to these was emailed in by a reader. Those rules were so good they deserved their own post. Read it HERE.
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