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Tailgating Fantasy

Posted by Dave On November - 12 - 2013

Man dreaming about tailgatingYou may recall that last year I worked in conjunction with Visa to help promote their #MakeItEpic campaign in advance of the Super Bowl. I am glad to announce that Visa has again tabbed TailgatingIdeas.com as an influential blog to help promote their #MyFootballFantasy Contest which will fulfill the fantasies of select football fans. I am blogging on behalf of the Visa #MyFootballFantasy Campaign and receive compensation for my time, but the thoughts, opinions, words and promotions are all mine and not that of Visa.

Because Visa will be selecting those fantasies of football fans and making them a reality, I thought it would be fun to submit my own. Now of course some aspects of my fantasy are impossible (unless someone knows how to make clouds rain bacon…) it is my football fantasy and I will be as unrealistic I want. After all, this is a fantasy, right?

5:30 AM – Alarm. The sweet sound of John Facenda, legendary announcer from NFL Films awakens me.

5:35 AM – Shower

5:50 AM – Get dressed in shorts, throw back jersey and Flip Flops

6:00 AM – Huge “Madden Cruiser” style party bus pulls up with 30 of my closest friends and family.

6:01 AM – Step onto the bus, immediately handed a Bacon Bloody Mary.

6:02 AM – Bus departs for Stadium for tailgating prior to the game.

6:05 AM – Bus merges onto the freeway. Entertainment in the cabin is a running loop of old school NFL Films Crunch Course videos.

7:00 AM – Enter San Diego County and immediately joined by a 12 car police escort complete with lights a sirens. Presidential motorcades don’t get this much respect.

moses parting red sea7:55 AM – Arrive at Gate 1 for some Qualcomm Stadium tailgating five minutes before the gates are supposed to open. We arrive. Gates open. Mental image – Moses parting the Red Sea.

8:00 AM – Bus parks within 12 parking spaces that have been coned off and reserved just for us.

8:01 AM – A racing pit crew comes out of nowhere and immediately unpacks the bus. The grill, beer pong tables, cornhole boards, tables, chairs and even the hi-def satellite signal is locked in in less than a minute.

8:02 AM – Step off the bus to a throng of cheers that would rival the original Beatles in 1964.

8:05 AM – Surveying the grilling area of the tailgate, notice that Bobby Flay and Emeril Lagasse are nearly in a fist fight over who will be cooking. Flay wins by pulling rank with experience with grilling. Lagasse gets in a few good body shots but has to settle for cooking for someone else.

8:10 AM – Stop by one of the fully loaded bars. Get served by Ted Lang who played Isaac the Bartender from the Love Boat TV show. Hands me another Bacon Bloody Mary and of course the double finger point. Informs me that when he is on break, Sam Malone, Coach and Woody from Cheers will be taking care of us.

8:15 AM – A Las Vegas mobile sports book betting kiosk magically appears taking all kinds of action. Drop $10,000 on the Over.

8:30 AM – The Swedish Bikini Team pulls up in their own van and will be our waitresses for the day.

8:35 AM – Eggs Benedict, bacon, hash browns and orange juice for breakfast.

9:00 AM – Good friend points out the homeless bag lady rummaging through the dumpster scavenging for aluminum cans. Upon closer look I recognize it is the snobby, Homecoming Queen that turned down my feeble attempts to ask her out back in high school. Laugh uncontrollably.

9:15 AM – Play all the traditional tailgating games; cornhole, ladder ball, washers, polish horseshoes and dominate them all.

10:00 AM – First set of all the early NFL games are projected onto an 18-Wheeler sized flatbed screen. Picture if the Sports Book at Ceasar’s Palace was moved outdoors… but bigger.

10:45 AM – Play four games of beer pong simultaneously. Go undefeated.

11:15 AM – Gatorade shower dumped over my head in celebration of my dominating performance. Immediately picked up and crowd surf the tailgate party.

11:45 AM – Fans of the opposing team stop by the tailgating area. Immediately take off their jerseys and hats, place them in a pile at my feet. They douse the clothing with lighter fluid but I get to drop the match.

12:00 PM – Lunch consists of Surf and Turf, and Baked Alaska for desert.

Raining bacon12:15 PM – Tailgate is slightly interrupted by a short thunderstorm. Instead of water, it’s raining bacon strips.

12:30 PM – Tailgating gear gets packed up by someone who is not me.

12:35 PM – Helicopter lands in the parking stall adjacent to ours. Picks me up to take me to MCAS Miramar. Hop into an F/A-18 Hornet to pilot the lead jet for the pre-game fly over.

1:00 PM – Low level fly over the stadium breaking the sound barrier while passing over the 50 yard line.

1:05 PM – Land jet and chopper back to stadium. Upon arrival back, a rickshaw pulled by a bikini clad Jaime Edmondson is waiting to take me to my seat.

1:15 PM – Kick off is immediately returned for a touchdown. My team leads 7-0 with 14:43 to go in the 1st quarter.

4:35 PM – My team caps off a great seesaw battle with a 60 yard Hail Mary that is caught for a touchdown as time expires in overtime. My team not only wins but earns home field advantage throughout the playoffs. Teams combined for 63 points. Hello Vegas Over!

4:45 PM – Back in the parking lot and the post-game tailgate is already underway. Despite having a police escort at our disposal, we opt for the post-game tailgate just because we can.

6:00 PM – Police escort out of the stadium while watching the Sunday Night Football game. Neck and shoulder massage by a bikini clad Kate Upton.

Now that you have read #MyFootballFantasy, how about yours? You can submit yours to Visa HERE and if they find yours to be the most fun and creative, you could have your football fantasy fulfilled.

Key entry details:
Enter at vi.sa/ENTER_INF05, follow Visa on Twitter or Instagram, submit your fantasy (up to value of $100K) and #MyFootballFantasy @Visa. Use Visa to enter OR mail-in with No Purchase Required – 18+ US resident. Judged on creativity, Visa’s & NFL’s brand image, match-to-theme & ability to fulfill. Thru 2/2/14 at 12am. 1 entry per person. http://vi.sa/RULES_0908t1

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TailgatingIdeas.com is a tailgating blog dedicated to bringing you the latest and most intriguing tailgating ideas out there. Whether it is the latest tailgating gear reviews, a great new recipe or a funny list to make you smile, our goal is to inform and entertain the avid and the casual tailgater alike.

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