Just like an apple a day will keep the doctor away, a beer of two will kill the flu germs…right?!?
Unfortunately (or maybe fortunately) I am home sick with the flu. Following the above advice I am drinking a Bud and the fever has me again thinking about people who deserve the tailgate spotlight, yet unfortunately never get it.
Yes this time I am talking about you Ms. (or maybe it’s Mrs.) Gentleman’s Club Exotic Dancer / Parking Lot Navigator / Free Pass Giver.
It could just be in Philadelphia (and no I am not complaining), but pregame tailgates in the Lot bring out a lot of exotic dancers distributing free passes to the gentleman’s club following the game. Or if the home team sucks, during the game!
You know the girls, despite the freezing cold outside, they give us tailgaters free eye candy as they walk around the lot in next-to-nothing. And of course in the most colorful and highest of high heels.
Without the presence of these women, the drunks would have no one to try their worst pick-up lines on. Without these women and their club passes, the lot and surrounding streets would be littered with only beer bottles.
These women allow dads to give the “birds and the bees” conversation to sons in the comfort of a parking lot. These women create that awkward moment of silence for dads as their eyes go from the high heels to their innocent little daughter… good luck with that one dad!
Even in the confines of the Lot, these women can bring forth the death stare from a significant other for wandering eyes or screams of trouble from her on laundry day as your pockets are emptied.
Yes without these ladies a man’s tailgate just wouldn’t be complete. You would be forced to go home after the game. Your tailgate pictures would be of only people you know and way too may guys. Your beer muscles with women would go unused. Your leftover beer money would go unspent. Your eyes would have been looking at only grown men in tights all day.
So for all these reasons and so many more we salute you Ms. (or maybe it’s Mrs.) Gentleman’s Club Exotic Dancer / Parking Lot Navigator / Free Pass Giver.