You’ve seen (and probably taken) quite a few beer bongs while tailgating. You probably still have that old funnel and tube from college stashed in with your regular tailgating gear. Times have changed though. You want a way for your tailgate party to stand out yet you still want to pound an entire beer in under 10 seconds. Also, your tailgate is missing that special something that will bring over those attractive young ladies from three parking stalls away. The simple answer to both of those needs and desires is to get yourself a Flabongo.
A Flabongo is exactly what it looks like. It’s a hallow plastic flamingo that holds over 36 ounces of liquid. (That’s three cans of beer for the mathematically challenged.) This isn’t just some lawn ornament you liberated from gramma’s front lawn. This is a highly efficient, tremendously rapid beer delivery device.
The configuration of Flabongo is genius in its design. There is a square hole in the belly of the bird and a hole in the beak. Simply pour a beer into the tail end of Flabongo, place the beak to your mouth and when ready to consume, tilt the bird skyward. Let Sir Isaac Newton’s law of universal gravitation take effect and you are now bonging a beer via the Flabongo.
So you’re a slow learner and need visual aids? Check out this video for a simple tutorial. This is me doing a Flabongo while tailgating out in Tennessee at Neyland Stadium.
An extra added bonus to tailgating with the Flabongo is that more women are inclined to bong a beer out of the Flabongo than your nasty, old funnel. Guys, don’t be afraid to be seen tailgating with a Flabongo either. It will show the women you are secure in your manhood. After they see you take down three beers in record time all the ladies will know who’s the real man of the parking lot. Still not convinced the Flabongo is the ultimate pick-up tool? Check out this story from DormWars.com.
You don’t have to raid a trailer park in Florida to get your own Flabongo. Just visit Flabongo.com and buy your own for under 20 bucks. Want everyone at your next tailgate party to have their own Flabongo? They’ll cut you a deal if you buy 10 or more. As always, if you end up getting one (or ten), tell ’em you read about it on TailgatingIdeas.com.
Please know your limit and drink responsibly. Most importantly, please do not drink and drive.