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Whenever you cram thousands of people into one concentrated area, you are bound to get a diverse group. Tailgating is no different. Most tailgaters just hang out and do their own thing without calling attention to themselves. Some tailgaters can’t do that. Without further delay, here’s a list of the 14 most annoying tailgaters you want to avoid.

Exotic Meats Guy - Alligator Stew. Barbecued frog legs. Bison burgers. This is the guy that scoffs at normal hamburgers and hot dogs as traditional tailgate food. He loves to hand someone some sort of mystery meat on a stick and then see their reaction when he reveals the name of the wild animal they just ate. Tastes like chicken, right?

Acoustic Guitar Guy - This douche-bag is normally found tailgating before concerts but don’t count him out tailgating before a sporting event. You have all seen him. This guy breaks out the acoustic guitar whenever he thinks someone wants to hear his crappy rendition of “What Would You Say” by Dave Matthews Band. He does this not because he really loves music but because he thinks playing the guitar impresses women enough to sleep with him later. You can spot him strumming pathetically all by himself hoping some drunk girl will recognize him playing “Every Rose Has It’s Thorn“. Hey Acoustic Guitar Guy, please save it for the youth group camping trip.

The Gadget Geek - This guy could also be called the “One Upper”. You have a hand crank blender, this guy has a blender hooked up to a old Harley-Davidson engine. You have a 40,000 BTU grill, this guy has 100,000 BTUs at his disposal, and that’s just on the left side! He’s all about trying to impress everyone else with all his “toys” and loves the ones that make the most noise. That way everyone in the parking lot will turn to look when he fires up his generator powering his rented Musco Lights.

The Uber Chef - This is the guy that brings way too much food and thinks he is going to feed the entire parking lot. A peek inside his cooler and he has enough dead animal flesh in there to give a butcher priapism. He treats his grill better than his wife and children and his goal in life is to top the amount of meat he grilled last time. The Uber Chef is the most generous tailgater in the parking lot and by 30 minutes before game time he is giving away pounds and pounds of meat just so he doesn’t have to bring it home.

The Can Man - Every tailgating parking lot has this guy, or should I say guys. They are always walking around with some elaborate can collection receptacle. Be it a trash can on wheels, a dirty shopping cart dripping a vile combination of liquids or just a raggedy Glad bag, they are always willing to liberate your empties. Sure they are helping the environment while keeping your tailgating space clean but they all could use a shower and possibly a trip to the dentist.

The “No Shirt, No Problem” Tailgater - No matter the weather, this guy loves to tear off his shirt given the opportunity. Whether it’s to show off his recent tattoo or to try to impress the girls across the way, this guy loses his shirt faster than a bulimic loses her lunch. Normally this guy has hit the gym once that week but invariably he drinks way too much beer to have underwear model abs.

The Overly Competitive/Underachieving Wannabe Athlete - You planning on playing any tailgating games? If so, this guy can put on a clinic, or so he says. Doesn’t matter what the game is. He’ll tell you he dominates them all. Cornhole? He’s the champ. Beer Pong? Bring it on buddy. Washers? What’s the skunk rule around these parts? Unfortunately he talks a big game and has played just enough to be dangerous but when faced with real competition this guy doesn’t stand a chance.

The Attention Whore - Normally a girl dressed completely inappropriate for the weather and the event she is tailgating. You can spot her a mile away, normally sporting more cleavage than Scarlett Johansson on the red carpet. This surgically enhanced single mother with low self-esteem will wear a mini skirt to Lambeau Field in December if she thinks it will get men to notice her. She’ll volunteer to get everyone beers from the cooler just knowing that everyone will be starring at her whale tail. Stay at home attention whore. It’s not our fault daddy didn’t hug you enough when you were young.

The Homer - Picture the guy that that has bought out everything the team store has to offer. Now put him in the parking lot wearing said gear and harassing anyone that remotely resembles a fan of the opposing team. Try to park next to this guy and expect to have to qualify yourself as a bigger fan of his team or you will be subjected to insults and snide remarks all day.

The Wine and Cheese Tailgater - Normally spotted tailgating before a Michael Bolton or John Tesh concert, wine and cheese tailgater has been rarely seen tailgating sporting events. His taste in wine is impeccable and he has the finest meats and cheeses displayed like he is trying to impress the art gallery curator. He’ll normally be disgusted by the debauchery displayed by the Bourgeois beer drinkers he must tolerate in order to attend this event. Tailgating is more of a hassle than an activity to enjoy to wine and cheese guy. He’d be better off staying at home and catching it on TV.

The Liquid Diet Guy - This guy is only interested in one thing, getting hammered. You could have the greatest spread of tailgating food ever placed before mankind, this guy just wants to drink. Shots of tequila followed by Jell-o shots chased with a 24 oz. can of Bud. All in a day’s work for Liquid Diet Guy. Sadly, he overpaid for his ticket to the game or concert and gets too drunk to get in or is too wasted to even know who is playing.

Inappropriate Music Guy - He might not have the loudest stereo system in the parking lot but he definitely doesn’t care who might be listening to his choice of play list. He’ll pump old school rap with lyrics littered with F-bombs even if he is parked next to a family with kids under 10. He’ll play enough vulgarity that even Snoop Dogg would tell him to tone it down.

The Moocher - This tailgater shows up with nothing but a smile and is always first in line when food and drinks are offered. The Moocher is chronically forgetful and always seems to have just run out of propane on his grill yet he has no problem asking you to squeeze in his crappy food on yours? Your brats look better than his old hot dogs and you know he will ask for a few. This guy sucks so bad, we wrote about him back in August 2007 in one of our first tailgating etiquette articles.

The Sports/Music Trivia Dork - Often mistaken for The Homer, Sports/Music Trivia Dork wants to share his wealth of knowledge. He does this because he wants to prove how big of a fan he is of the home team or the musical artist you are about to see. Did you know the San Diego Chargers drafted Mossy Cade with their first round draft pick but he never played a single snap for them? Did you know that the video for Shadow Of The Day is the first Linkin Park video to not feature the whole band? Okay, we get it dude. You’ve proven two things. You’re a tool and you love the band more than I do.

I had the opportunity to read my colleague Stephen Linn’s blog post on The Ultimate Tailgater and it got me to thinking. Is tailgating before a Kenny Chesney concert replacing the raucous party atmosphere that is tailgating prior to a Jimmy Buffett concert?

I will admit it. I have never been to a Kenny Chesney concert nor have I been to a Kenny Chesney tailgate party. I have been to a few Jimmy Buffett tailgate parties and they have been the experience of a lifetime. I think so highly of tailgating before a Jimmy Buffett concert I placed it as one of the items to put on your tailgating bucket list. Continue reading →

Don’t panic because this posting is not about tailgating. We’ll get back our regular scheduled blog updates regarding tailgating in a few moments. But first I want to ask you if you are still getting your information from the web the old fashioned way? I mean, are you still bookmarking news sites and blogs and checking them on a regular basis? If you are still doing that you will thank me for writing this post.

DailyBlogTips.com recently started the initiative to raise awareness of RSS and they chose May 1st as RSS Awareness Day. They even created a website dedicated to RSS Awareness Day called rssday.org. The purpose is to get lots of people to discover how simple and convenient it is to gather information from the web via RSS. Continue reading →

Alright, stop me if you have heard this one before. There is yet another football stadium project rumored to try and lure an NFL franchise to Los Angeles. After checking out the official website, in comparison to the others that have been proposed, Hollywood Park, The Rose Bowl, renovating The Coliseum, the Los Angeles Stadium project proposed by real estate billionaire Ed Roski seems quite possible. The main hurdles of building a brand new stadium have been addressed in that an environmental study has been done along with The City of Industry, the location of the proposed stadium, is willing to get behind the project to the tune of over $800 million. Now all Roski needs is an NFL team to move to L.A. to become the tenant. The NFL is not interested in expanding beyond the current 32 franchises so that means an existing team would need to move.

Take a look at the video concept they put together. Kind of has a EA Sports/XBox 360/PS3 feel to it.

Southland tailgaters should be salivating more over this proposed project more than they would over a rack of slow-cooked ribs . The opportunity to potentially suggest what amenities should be included in the parking areas in and around the stadium is huge. The stadium has proposed 25,000 parking spaces. (For comparison, Qualcomm Stadium has 18,500 parking spaces.) Those parking areas should include amenities that appeal to tailgaters.

If I were to design the stadium parking lot, I would make the following suggestions

• Make all 25,000 parking spaces open air parking. Please, no multilevel parking structures. I understand that parking spaces to a developer are parking spaces no matter what the layout. To a tailgater, parking structures do not work well. Grilling on a lower level when there is essentially a “roof” over your head does not make for good tailgating. The combination of lack of air flow within parking structures and the poor air quality produced from vehicle exhaust and tailgating grills would make for a miserable tailgating experience.
• Construct permanent restrooms with running water on the perimeter of the parking lot. Portable toilets should also be available on game days to handle the overflow of tailgaters needing to answer nature’s call.
• Build on-site recycling centers to collect aluminium cans, glass bottles and plastic containers. There should be two recycling depots on opposite ends of the parking lot to encourage fans to be more environmentally conscience. These recycling collection centers should offer cash payouts on the spot in order to encourage more fans to recycle aluminium cans and glass bottles when tailgating.
• Erect at least one if not two cell phone towers on the property in anticipation of the large increase in cell phone usage. Getting cell service at the stadium is hit and miss at some stadiums because tailgaters use their cell phones quite a bit. Whether it is to communicate with a friend who needs to find your tailgate party or to call out to check up on the babysitter, cell phone usage in the tailgating parking lot needs its own dedicated tower. While we are at it, why not offer free Wi-Fi for those that want to check their fantasy football teams stats while tailgating?
• Offer season ticket holders and loyal tailgaters the opportunity to buy a reserved parking spot. I am not suggested a reserved section. I am suggesting a reserved parking spot within the reserved section. Let’s face it, most tailgaters like to tailgate with their friends and not everyone can ride in the same vehicle. By giving tailgaters an opportunity to park in the exact same numbered space for every game will enhance the tailgating experience. That way a tailgating club or a group of friends would not have to caravan to the games or place folding chairs in empty spaces to essentially “save” parking spots for tailgaters arriving later. (Actually I think all NFL stadiums should enact this type of parking.)
• Strategically place fireproof charcoal receptacles throughout the parking lots to ensure safe disposal of hot coals. All stadiums that allow charcoal grills should have these. As a new stadium, these types of containers should be easy to find and easy to use.

If this stadium becomes a reality, Ed Roski and his development team could become the champion of tailgating if they follow my suggestions. If you could make a few suggestions to improve the tailgating experience at Los Angeles Stadium, what would they be? Feel free to comment below. We’ll submit them to Mr. Roski for future consideration.

One of the great things I love about tailgating is that you can avoid paying for overpriced food and drink inside the stadium or concert venue. Another benefit of tailgating is that you choose what you want to eat. Deciding to eat at the stadium you are forced to consume whatever brand of beer the stadium has contracted with. Same goes for the types of food they will serve. Add to the mix that a six-pack of your favorite beer from the supermarket will run you about the same as buying one 16 oz. cup of beer inside. Recently I discovered another great reason to tailgate. The Sioux Falls Canaries, a minor league baseball franchise, and their concessions partners are now offering “Fowl Balls”. Yup, you guessed it right. The Sioux Falls Canaries concession stands will now serve turkey testicles to baseball fans.

(That sound you just heard was me throwing up in my mouth.)

Bill Sedelmeier, director of food and beverage for the independent minor league team located in South Dakota, said that fans can dip their breaded and fried “fowl balls” in a variety of sauces including ranch, barbecue and bleu cheese. Sounds delightful. I wonder if the family size serving comes with its own barf bag?

Thanks, but no thanks. I’ll stick to filling up in the parking lot on Swedish meatballs rather than turkey balls.

Has anyone tailgated a papal mass? Odds are probably not. But why not? That would be the ultimate feather in any tailgater’s cap.

Back in February I put together my Bucket List for Tailgaters. It listed the Top 9 places you need to go tailgating before you “kick the bucket”. Upon further review I realized a “once in a lifetime” tailgate party was left off the list (Sorry LSU fans, despite your whining and complaining I am still not amending the original list.) That once in a lifetime tailgate party? Tailgating prior Pope Benedict XVI’s mass at Yankee Stadium.

Gates will open at 9 a.m. ET, with pre-mass festivities beginning at noon and the formal mass beginning at 2:30 p.m. Tickets have already been distributed through the Archdiocese of New York and its many parishes for the approximately 2 1/2 hour ceremony. There are no tickets available at Yankee Stadium for the mass. Even if you have a ticket to go inside for mass or not, tailgating Pope Benedict XVI’s first visit to the United States has to rank up there with any other tailgate party in history. Tailgating a papal mass would be the yardstick by which other tailgaters could measure themselves.

Do you think you might catch some flack for tailgating a papal mass? Probably. Anyone who thinks tailgating the pontiff’s visit is blasphemous or in bad taste needs stop taking themselves so seriously. If they are going to be serving wine and crackers inside the stadium, why can’t you toss back a few beers and grill some brats outside the stadium?

Because Pope Benedict XVI will visit Ground Zero in Lower Manhattan before arriving at Yankee Stadium at 2:15 p.m., the likelihood of him making it out to the parking lot to share a few cold ones is pretty slim. It’s too bad because as a tailgater, that would be the ultimate to have the Pope bless your keg. That would truly be “holy water”.

If anyone out there takes my advice to tailgate the Pope’s visit, please send us the photos. Even better, make a video and send us the YouTube link. Make sure to include a Pope bobblehead doll or make you own Pope hat to wear in the photos to commemorate being one of a handful to tailgate the pontiff’s visit.