Thursday marks the official return of football tailgating. Even though it is only the preseason, don’t tell that to the Bucs, Titans, Browns, Falcons, 49ers and Chargers fans who will all be tailgating prior to their teams hosting games August 8th.
With a new season comes new rules regarding what you can bring into the stadium and more importantly, how you can bring in your personal belongings into an NFL stadium. The NFL has adopted a new NFL bag policy for 2013 that limits the size and most notably, the transparency of bags allowed into NFL stadiums. In reaction to this NFL policy and also in consideration of the numerous rules that college football stadiums impose, we have compiled a comprehensive list of the best ways to smuggle alcohol into stadiums, festivals, concerts or just anywhere where alcohol is not served or where alcohol consumption is frowned upon.
Freedom Flask – The Freedom Flask is a plastic bladder that can hold 750 ml of liquor (that’s a fifth of liquor for those metrically impaired) and is designed to be smuggled into an event in the front of your pants. The design is rather smart in that the dispensing nozzle is strategically placed in the bottom of the flask so that 100% of the contents can drain out without having to squeeze the unit or lean to one side or the other. Gravity will do the work for you. The nozzle is also strategically placed so that it lines up directly with your zipper for quick and easy access. When you are inside the venue, simply purchase a more affordable beverage like a soft drink, unzip and pour some shots into your drink. At the end of the game and the contents are completely dispensed, excuse yourself to the restroom, remove the Freedom Flask, roll it up and place it in your back pocket for the next use. The position where the Freedom Flask is carried is also great in that during a physical pat down by security when entering a sporting event or concert, the guys in yellow windbreakers will never touch your junk. The TSA at the airport might, but the rent-a-cops won’t.
Pros: Holds a lot of booze; undetectable in a pat down; can dispense 100% of whatever you filled it with, both men and women can use it.
Cons: When used in public, looks like you are peeing in a cup; makes you look like you have a FUPA; not good for liquid that needs to be cold like beer because it is carried up against your body and your body heat will warm it up.
Tampon Flasks – As you may have guessed, these are plastic test tubes called booze tubes that come complete with an adhesive wrapper to disguise the tubes to look like tampons. As we all know, tampons are “the untouchable” item in a woman’s bag or purse. At the very sight of even one tampon or what appears to be a tampon, security will waive you right on through to get your ticket scanned. Tampon Flasks come in a package of five tubes with five wrappers. Each tube holds about 1 1/2 oz. of liquor which equates to basically about a shot per tube. With the new NFL bag policy requiring all fans entering the stadiums to bring items inside in a clear plastic bag, placing a few of these Tampon Flasks in the bags and showing it to the security guard will ensure the lady booze Sherpa will fly under the radar.
Pros: No security guard would dare suspect what looks to be a tampon would be a flask
Cons: Only women can pull of this method of smuggling; Only holds about a shot of liquor per tube; a little embarrassing to be holding what looks to be five tampons in your transparent bag for everyone in line to see.
Camera Flask – Gives the appearance of a digital camera but actually has a hollow chamber inside that can hold five oz. of alcohol. It comes with a small funnel for ease of filling at home or in the parking lot before going inside. Also includes a wrist strap to complete the image of authenticity.
Pros: Looks exactly like a digital camera
Cons: At a five oz. capacity, doesn’t hold a lot of booze; a little bit big compared to modern digital cameras
Sunscreen Flasks – Sunscreen is allowed into all kinds of events whether they are concerts, sporting events, street fairs, festivals, stadiums, the beach, your kid’s soccer game, etc. Take a close look at the Sunscreen Flask tube and it is identical to what any brand of sunscreen would look like. Even the fine print and the directions of use on the back look identical to what appears on any major brand of sunscreen. The Sunscreen Flask holds eight (8) oz of liquor and has a screw cap that twists off easily for dispensing shots discreetly or when you want to fill it up.
Pros: Even with close examination, it looks just like a tube of SPF 30 sunscreen; holds 8 oz of liquid
Cons: Can only be used in places where the sun is out to be believable; bringing it to events held indoors or when the sun has gone down will trigger security to be suspicious
Booze Belly – The precursor to the Freedom Flask and manufactured by a different company, the Booze Belly is designed to go around your stomach, under your shirt. You can see the hose and nozzle can be extended away from the flask for ease of putting a shot into a beverage purchased inside the venue. The Booze Belly is perfect for places where you will not get a physical pat down upon entry. Places like the movies or street fairs where you may get a bag check but not physically touched by security is perfect for the Booze Belly. Just make sure to wear a baggy shirt or even a sweatshirt so that the outline of the Booze Belly is not easily visible. Holds about 24 oz of liquid so you can easily sneak in enough booze for yourself and have enough left to share with friends you meet inside.
Pros: Holds quite a bit of liquor; concealable and hard to detect; affordable price and pays for itself the first time you use it
Cons: Not good for liquid that needs to be cold like beer because it is carried up against your body and your body heat will warm it up; Not recommended for venues that include a physical pat down by security.
Can Cover – If you plan on drinking in public, can covers are a great way to conceal your canned beverages from the judgmental eyes of neighbors or law enforcement. The concept is simple in that you take a highly recognizable brand of soft drink, cut off the top and bottom of the can, cut a seam up the side, sand the edges so you do not get cut and you now have a stealth beer can wrap. We would suggest using a brand of soda that has a base color that is a close match to your beer of choice underneath. Drink Bud Light or Miller Lite? Use a Pepsi can so that the dark blue outer color blends with the beer underneath at the top and the bottom of the can cover.
Pros: From a reasonably close distance, appears to be an average soda can; nobody thinks twice when seeing someone walking with a soda in their hand
Cons: Cans are not allowed everywhere especially inside stadiums or other venues; at close inspection you can see small traces of the beer can underneath
Purchase: Make your own by following the steps in this online video:
SlickShotz! – They look like little IV bags you may find in a hospital for little people but they actually hold about three oz. of liquor. The SlickShotz! bags come with a heat sealer that is almost identical to the one that vacuum packs food you have seen on infomercials. The bags can be reused at least twice and possibly more depending on how carefully you tear them open. Just fill up the bags at home with about three ounces of your favorite liquor, seal them and place them in an inconspicuous place. Put them in your underwear, your socks, back pocket, coat pocket, etc. The smallest kit comes with 25 pouches, the heat sealer and batteries. You can purchase more bags once you use up the quantity from your initial kit order.
Pros: Bring in as much liquor as you want depending on how many bags you can smuggle; affordable and reusable, small and easily hidden
Cons: Only holds three oz per bag; can not fill with carbonated beverages because the pressure will cause them to explode;
Beer Belly – Most everyone has seen this old technique posted up and shared on Facebook or Pintrest. The concept is simple in that the Beer Belly is a harness or sling that contains a bladder inside that is worn over your torso, under a shirt. When the bladder is full of liquid, you appear to have a spare tire around your midsection, thus concealing the hooch you are sneaking inside. Holds up to 80 ounces of any hot or cold beverage and includes a suction tube to drink directly from the Beer Belly.
Pros: Holds a lot of booze, up to 80 oz.; concealable and made to look like you have a fat stomach
Cons: Not great for beer because the unit is against your body and can absorb body heat; easily detected if going through a pat down line
Wine Rack Sports Bra – Just like the above mentioned Beer Belly, the wine rack is the same concept, only for women. The Wine Rack is a sports bra with a polyurathane bladder that holds 25 ounces of liquid. It is a medium-sized bra that fits sizes 34C through 38C and contains a long drinking tube with an on/off valve to control the flow. Obviously this unit will not work for men unless you are going for the Bill Parcells man boobs look. For women, this means of smuggling booze is great in that the placement of the flask is right on a woman’s chest and that is definietly a hands off zone for security pat downs unless they are looking for a sexual harassment lawsuit.
Pros: Holds 25 oz. of liquid; makes ladies appear to have bigger breasts when wearing it; undetectable because security will not touch a woman there
Cons: Can only be used by women; women not a bra size 34C through 38C can not use it; once done with using it at the event, inconvenient to take off
Barnoculars Binocular Flask – As you can see in the photo, these are not binoculars but rather a hollow flask that looks like binoculars. It is dual chambered so you can put two different liquors in each side. When both sides are filled, will hold 16 oz. of liquid. The eye pieces will unscrew allowing you access to fill the Barnoculars at home with the liquor of your choice. When at the game, unscrew the eye pieces to dispense into whatever mixer you have bought inside. Not great for venues where you could be questioned as to why you need to see things from far away.
Pros: Holds 16 oz. of liquor; very affordable at under $10
Cons: Big and bulky; can not be used anywhere like street fairs or carnivals where binoculars are not needed
The Bootlegger – The Bootlegger is a mini liquor bottle carrier that fits snugly around your ankle. Slide the Bootlegger around your ankle, add your bottles and wear them under your pants leg. The stretchable sleeve is made of that neoprene wet suit material and a thicker pantyhose material makes up the pockets. If you had two Bootleggers, one for each ankle, you could potentially sneak in 12 mini bottles of liquor. Just make sure where you are going is not going to have an aggressive frisk at the door. Security pat downs have been known to go all the way down to your ankle to search for potential weapons tucked into shoes or boots. This means of smuggling liquor inside event is just praying for bell bottom jeans to come back in style.
Pros: If utilizing two at a time, can hold a lot of liquor; affordable at under $10; good for places like the movies or street fairs with no security pat down
Cons: Can’t be worn with shorts; susceptible to discovery in a pat down
Cell Phone Flask – Everyone has a cell phone so this means flies under the radar pretty easily. Unfortunately, these types of mobile phones are becoming more and more rare and the look of these could draw more attention because they look so archaic compared to modern smart phones. The other problem is the flask designed to look like an iPhone is not very realistic and could get you noticed more than this regular cell phone flask. The Cell Phone Flask holds about 4 oz. of liquor and comes with a leather pouch that attaches to your belt. You fill it by unscrewing the cap in what looks to be the antenna and you disperse your shots out the same way.
Pros: Older folks can pass using this one; great for places that do not scrutinize what is coming in the door but you still want to be sneaky
Cons: At close inspection, does not look authentic; does not hold a lot of liquor
Sealed Water Bottle – All stadiums and venues allow you to bring in water bottles. As long as they are a certain size and the cap is sealed, they allow water bottles inside. The sealed aspect is the tricky part but there is a way around it. The video below shows you how to remove water bottle caps without breaking the seal and how to place them back on another bottle that you have filled with a clear liquor like vodka, light rum or white tequila. There is a little bit of work involved to make this technique work but if done correctly, can save you a ton of money.
Pros: Each bottle holds a lot of liquor compared to other techniques; at close inspection, looks identical to a regular water bottle
Cons: Can only use clear liquors like vodka, elaborate procedure and a bit time consuming to make this work, water bottles are big and bulky
Purchase: Make your own by following the steps in this online video:
Now that we are at the end, which are the best ways to smuggle alcohol into a stadium, concert, festival or places like a cruise, street fair or the beach? After testing out all of these, here is the top 10 of our favorites ranked in order. All techniques have pros and cons and no technique is guaranteed to go undetected. Rankings are purely our own opinion based on our personal experience using these techniques, affordability, concealability, comfort, convenience and amount of liquor each device can transport.
If you enjoyed our top 10 list, you may want to check out our friends over at ultimatetop10s.com. Also, if you have found a booze smuggling technique that we did not include in our original list that you have found to be effective and affordable, please feel free to leave it in the comments below.