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An Expensive Bathroom Trip

Posted by Chris On December - 5 - 2009

438We all have our favorite tailgating stories.  Some focus on a killer recipe, while others fall into the category of embarrassing.  Well, last Sunday gave me a new one (well it’s my buddies’ story) that falls into the category of bone headed and damn expensive!

We all know that tailgating involves drinking.  Excuse me, let me rephrase that.  Tailgating involves a lot of drinking.  And when there is drinking there is the need to empty the bladder.

Unfortunately you aren’t the only one drinking in the lot.  Even worse you aren’t the only one needing to hit up the Porta Potty.  And for those of us without our own portable potty, a loose bladder results in having to stand in a VERY long bathroom  line.

The above situation happened this past Sunday to my buddy.  Too many beers and a Porta Potty line that was way too long!  Wanting to get back to the tailgate my buddy bypassed the line and ventured over to a public wall hidden by a few truck trailers.  No big deal as the location is a common spot for Philadelphia tailgating guys… right?

Not this time as bad luck struck my buddy.  Just as the bladder was being emptied the city cops who patrol the lot were cruising past the wall.  A quick glance to the right and my buddy was screwed.  More specifically my buddy was in violation of “Section 10-609 of The Philadelphia Code, entitled Public Urination or Defecation.”  Or in the simplest of terms he was now out $300. That is one damn expensive trip to the bathroom!

To the others in our tailgating group the situation was hilarious. To my buddy, his game day experience was instantly ruined!  Being short on savings and now faced with a $300 fine, he sold his Eagles ticket to a fellow fan for $200 to help with paying the fine.  Poor guy… a ticket for public urination and no ticket to watch an NFC East battle.  At least the Eagles came back to win the game!

And Monday brought even better news.  Based on when you are able to pay the fine the penalty is reduced to $50.  So in the end and with some quick math, my buddy had an extra $150 and a front page story on tailgatingideas.com.

Cover Your Bass

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2 Responses to “An Expensive Bathroom Trip”

  1. Dave says:

    What? No naming of names? I guess that was omitted in order to protect the innocent… or the guilty in this case.

  2. 2009 Bowl Games says:

    Man, I know one too many people who have been in “Cleveland Browns Jail” for this kind of thing. It’s kind of funny, but is miserable for the city. We all say they should have more bathrooms, but they don’t want to pay up for it, and then it ‘endorses’ more drinking.

    This is why I recently tailgated with nothing but whiskey. Bad Idea Meter: 10/10





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